Dyslexic son and band--help!

Does your son like band or enjoy playing music? Does he practice every day 30 minutes, an hour, more than an hour? Does he “have” to be in band or is there another alternative class or extracurricular class that he might be more successful in and enjoy much more? If he really wants to learn music he might feel more successful in private lessons where there’s just him, and a teacher —and no one else he’s comparing himself to.

Thanks for the thoughts. Band is an extra class that 6th graders can take.
He did private lessons before school started and then school started and he started band. He loves music and playing. He is doing private lessons with one of the area high school kids. I have asked if he wants to give it up and he says no. But still the anxiety and stress is there.
I really am not sure what direction to head………

Is he abrupt with your son? Or just distant? And what bothers your son the most - that he struggles to keep up or that the band director is not encouraging?

If it’s the band director, you can encourage your son to look past that. So long as the director is not singling him out for negative attention, I’d think your son could tolerate it. It’s not uncommon that band directors and orchestra leaders are a bit tempermental.

If though your son is distressed by his inability to keep up the pace as the band plays, perhaps that could be remedied with extra practice at home. If not, sometimes we have to make hard choices. Some athletes come to recognize that as the level of competition stiffens, they have to step down as their abilities can’t make them successful anymore.

Which wouldn’t mean your son couldn’t continue to play his instrument and take lessons on it. Or maybe he could concentrate on one or two of the band’s pieces and practice those very hard so he could keep up and then ‘sit out’ the rest. It could also be the case that with another year of lessons, his music reading speed will pick up and this won’t be a problem any more.

Good luck.

Which instrument does your boy play? How good is is ear?

As I understand, your son is having trouble (presumedly because of his dyslexia) in reading the sheet music. I might suggest that a simple way for him to work on the songs would be to have someone who can read the music easily play his part onto a tape that he can listen to and practice playing along with. Many of the finest musicians can surprisingly enough not read a lick of musical score, and even a great many who do read learn some of their art by hearing and remembering. (Guitarists are the worst for this; they had such trouble with reading music that they came up with their own way writing it called “tabulature”)

If the band director is less than enthused about going the extra mile (really I don’t see it as so very much of a request, but people can be funny) I might also suggest that you see about getting one of the high school students to do it for you.

Good luck to him! (And do let us know how things turn out…)

If your child likes music and wants to be there - and certainly sounds that way- private lessons and all. I would take him for a developmental/behavioral optometrist check. Insurance will cover but do go to a developmental/behavioral optometrist not an opthamologist. Ask around for a good referral. www.covd.org lists practitioners but, again, ask around.

For some reason dyslexics have a high correlation with vision problems. If your child has focusing problems then the position of the notes on the staff are murder - they may ‘jump’ around, making reading music tough. Focusing problems cvan be fixed. Your child will still be dylexic but it is a lot easier to read stuff that stays still!!

All dyslexics are different but ‘reading’ music is not like reading language. Dyslexia is a language processing problem.

How’s the organization for band class going? Could this be the reason for the director’s distance? Since band class typically does not meet every day, a child forgetting their instrument or music folder can get them behind very quickly. I don’t know the situation at your school but at our school band classes can be huge-making it tough to stop 50 kids to find more music for one kid or valve oil or a new reed. Ask the director how the child’s end of organization is going. Be prepared to help on band days (we had to chaffeur on those days as instrument and bus was too much!)

Don’t give up. Music is a lifelong thing. Much more than one band director. If you have to go to private lessons, be sure they work on rhythm and sight-reading and not just rote practice of more music.

Good luck

I’m not familar with band and how many songs, and the length of the songs, that kids must learn. I know my son, who is severely dyslexic and plays piano, uses a combination of reading and auditory/kinesthetic memory. In other words, once he gets the song down he doesn’t need to read the music anymore, he just knows how to play it.

Depending upon the amount of music your son may need to play, I think if he’s determined to stay in band, you may have to insist that he practice ALOT (at minimum an hour or more a day). This way he won’t need to rely as much on note reading.

Another thing to point out, even if he’s not the “quickest” or the “best,” the fact that he works so extrememly hard and wants to meet this challenge is something to be very proud of.

To add to Dad’s comments about getting the music on tape, why don’t you also ask the band director to provide a copy of the sheet music well in advance of the time that the rest of the band will be expected to sight-read it (and emphasize that you’re willing to pay for the extra copies.)
I echo Laura’s comment—he should be very proud that he’s willing to work extra hard for his art!

My dyslexic son also had a dreadful time getting started at reading music. His main problem was associating what named note went with the symbol on the page. (For example, he could read and play the notes, but not tell you what notes he was playing…he associated the symbol with a fingering, but not with a name.) That made it hard in band class, because they’d ask the kids to play a “C”, and he didn’t know which was a “C”, but if they had shown it to him on the staff, he could have played it.

However, fast forward 5 years, and he’s doing fine in band. He plays three wind instruments, and even won the school band award in his last year in middle school. Sufficient repetition, and work with a private teacher, made it so eventually everything clicked. We worked at home a lot on note names, and what the position on the staff for each fingering was.

What you need to find out from your child is what exactly is the source of the stress. Then, tell the private teacher what needs extra work. A middle school band director with a horde of rambuctious 12 year olds isn’t going to be able to give much individual attention.

There are definite rewards once your child masters an instrument. It may take more work, but that is often the case even with kids who aren’t dyslexic.

Good luck,

Kay

hey there Todd’s Mom-My vote is with Kay-find the source, get help but stick with it. Band is a wonderful group activity, it is a lifelong skill, performance is wonderful confidence builder and in our home district, it drives the kids schedules. All the band kids tend to have a lot of classes together because of scheduling. And guess what? the kids that stick around band and persevere are the ones you want your kid to hang out with.

I was clued into band as remedy for so-so quality of the middle school by a neighbor.

Our award-winning band director has never required practice for an hour a day. 15 minutes is aceptable and 20 minutes or more daily on the old practice card is an A. (caveat: No marching)

Good luck. Let us know.

My son was absolutely awful at piano. He loved music so I do understand your frustration about the desire not matching the skill.

Interactive metronome made a huge difference and his new teacher did not even realize that he was once diagnosed with what was considered a severe visual motor deficit.

He also made tremendous strides with vision therapy. These types of solutions can actually change the brain making EVERYTHING easier. They can be hard work but the pay off can be tremendous.
I chose this road rather than paying for tutors or trying to work around problems.
We just came back from skiing where this little guy with the former terrible balance was snowboarding better than kids much older than him. It was a great self esteem booster.

Good luck to you!

I asked our band director about thinking of notes as fingerings. he said that it is very common. Rhythm is apparently difficult to learn/teach and (doesn’t come until dealing with older children) thats why the play-along recordings of the required pieces help so much with struggling music students. They get the notes (fingerings) but not the rhythm.

Hang in there